CalamiTEA!

So there I was at the threshold of this wonderful place that put me in mind of an Agatha Christie novel (you remember the one where Tommy and Tuppence form their delightful partnership in a tea shop? - but I'm sure that was really dingy as compared to this!) It was BEAUTIFUL! The flowered wall-paper, the marble-top tables, the cute little half-cut suitcases on the wall, the cozy couches with travel motifs. Brilliant! It was exactly the kind of place one might imagine Miss Marple would stop to have her cuppa before solving the mystery. (Agatha Christie nostalgia setting in, need to read one quickly!)

Well, as I was tired and my throat felt a bit scratchy, went for a Masala Chai. Now I've usually avoided masala chai in the south. I had a hideous experience in the office where he served me payasam in a cup, and that taught me to stick to coffee! But this was Lloyds TEA house... how could they mess it up? Well, I'll tell you how: there was no "kadak-ness" to the tea, it was waaaaay tooo miiiillllkkkyy and the masala was non-existent. They'd put tulsi, which is rather nice, when it complements instead of takes over. I added sugar, just so I could get it down my throat, but it ended up being a payasam - which I could have gotten in the office for FREE!

I also had a chilli cheese toast - a complete misnomer - for there was very little heat, a miserable excuse for cheese, and the bread was as white as untoasted bread! Frankly, there are many ways to get a good chilli cheese toast - the cheese must be nice and mild, the chillis hot, and the toast nice and brown. The taste wasn't too bad for all that. I think they used jalapeneos - normal desi chillis would have been much better, and much cheaper!

Then finally, tried the roasted veggie pizza. It looked rather scary - could not make out one vegetable from the other - basically brown gloop interspersed with cheese. The base was sad and couldn't really hold the toppings - it kept breaking or bending and let everything slide back on the plate. I made do by calling for chilli flakes and adding copiously. The taste was ok. The bread was not very nice, the sauce was insipid, but the roasted veggies were nicely herbed and tasted ok.

Damages: to my pocket about Rs. 400, to my soul IMMEASURABLE!

I was so excited about this place, and the ambiance and decor were PERFECT! Too bad the food didn't live up to it's mark. I'm really dejected.

Will I go again - Possibly! Given the sad lack of nice joints in Chennai, I'll probably go back - and stick to the rose hips tea which most other reviewers have recommended.

Item: Masala Chai, Roasted Veggie Pizza, Chilli Cheese Toast
Price: Rs 407
Cafe: Lloyds Tea House
Address: Lloyds Rd, Gopalapuram, Chennai, Tamil Nadu 600086
VFM: Meh! Better make tea and toast at home.
The Queen's Verdict: Off with their heads!